When is the right time to have a child?

7/19/2014

www.usatoday.com

There is a growing trend for a decrease in births right across the world, with Africa the exception. On first thought, it seems a good thing because humans are taking over the world at the expense of every other living creature or plant. But with less adults in the future, the aging population might strike difficulties.

In the UK, the ONS said fewer babies were born to mothers of all age groups last year, with the biggest drop in the birth rate since 1975. According to official figures, Motherhood is most likely to begin at 30 in the UK. The most significant decline in birth rates took place among younger women, whereas in older women, the birth-rate increased due to large numbers of women in the 1990s putting off having children until later than the previous generation.

According to data released by the U.S. Census, the gap between births and deaths in the U.S. is the smallest it’s been in nearly four decades. This is due to younger Americans holding off having children and an exceptionally large group of Americans reaching mortality. That combination created a gap in births over deaths that is the lowest it has been in 35 years. Life could be tougher for rural US towns have been losing population, creating a shortage of young workers for the entry level jobs that help keep those communities afloat.

www.infosys.com

Expert opinions differ on the reasons for the declining birth rate. Some blame delayed effects of the recession, believing that younger people are holding off making larger life choices because finances are tight. Others blame the pattern on the parent's need to establish a career before having children.

Graph http://www.infosys.com/building-tomorrows-enterprise/emerging-economies/resources/Pages/keeping-the-workforce.aspx

20 countries around the world currently show zero or negative population growth. With birth rates on the decline, the aging world may well be sitting on a demographic time bomb. Nations, industry and society will experience an acute workforce vacuum.

I gave birth to my first child at the tender age of 19. Naive and trusting, I believed my husband's story about being infertile due to an accident. But the age of 23, I had three children. In a time of love and wonder, I almost grew up with them. Those memories are so precious now. Two of my children are dead and the other lives far away.

That's me squatting on the right with knees either side of my youngest daughter. My mother is holding my niece.

Young mothers have more time and patience to devote to child-rearing. But I never established a career to fall back on.

It's almost impossible to balance finances against child rearing. Which time is right?

Since primitive times, children came along according to nature. But we've grown way beyond that. We know best in our changing society.

So now I'm 72 years old and society supports me with a pension along with medical help and assistance. Very few people give their aging parents a home. Their lives are too busy for unimportant stuff. I wonder what will happen when there are fewer working people in proportion to those who have retired.

What are your views on the right time to have a child?

8 Comments

Judy - Pedagogical Artist link

7/18/2014 07:35:16 pm

Dearest Francine, I have read a number of your posts - by choice - fascinated by the controversial topics you have chosen and the depth of information you have offered your readers.

Today you took me by surprise by sharing a bit of more personal information, which touched my heart. Thank you for that.

Today you raise two serious matters: having kids and the growing number of elderly people along with how we deal with our own ageing parents.

I will relate to the first:

As my mom always used to say, "There is NEVER a right time to have kids." It basically boils down to whether you want kids or not. I have three of my own + a stepdaughter. Even as adults, they are all part of our lives and keep us very busy. Like you, I had children at a young age, but by the time I was in my 40's I could truly focus on my own career and LIFE. Is that good or bad? Don't know. Doesn't matter. Life is fluid. We take things as they come and try to make the most of it.

Thank you so very much for sharing your wealth of knowledge and insights.

Big HUGS <3

Jenny

7/18/2014 07:50:32 pm

A very touching post, I think you are right there is never a right time to have children, but when they do come, they are a gift and blessing

Samantha link

7/18/2014 08:11:00 pm

This is something which I've been thinking about for a long time. I'm a crazy career girl and there is no way I've reached the best that I can be in my career as of yet. Therefore I don't want to take time out to have a baby. But at the same time, if I were to have a baby, I'd want to take the most time off that I could possibly afford to do so that I could make the most of it.

And then there's the ticking clock. It's getting more and more acceptable to have kids later on but I always imagined myself as a young mum. My mum was young when she had me and because of this, we have a really close relationship.

It's certainly a dilema!

Sophie Bowns link

7/18/2014 09:01:25 pm

I don't know if there ever is a right or wrong time to have a child. I suppose it depends on the woman/ couple and when they are ready to have them. My Auntie didn't have my cousin until she was 42. Personally, I wouldn't want children any later than my late 30's (if at all.)

Bill Bartlett

7/18/2014 09:10:42 pm

I have what I call two batches of children. My first wife blessed me with three that are all now in their mid-thirties or older. My second (read last) wife has presented me with two boys, now in their early teens. Like you, I was very young when my first children were born and I was approaching fifty when the last two made their debut. What strikes me is that older parents have more wisdom and balance to deal with the challenges of parenthood. However, younger parents have the physical stamina. Doesn't seem fair. The more I observe of humanity, the more I'm convinced of a Providential sense of humor.

rachel

7/18/2014 09:31:02 pm

It's a difficult one isn't it, it's probably a good idea to have a home of your own established, some savings and a healthy relationship with your partner but life being the way it is how often does it work like that x

Sojourner link

7/19/2014 07:08:30 am

I don't know that there's a correct answer. I'm 35 and I just gave birth to my second eight days ago. It's really hard to balance everything- career and family, but having a family for my husband I is a priority, so we made space for it. This being said, I live in New York and I only have one other female friend with a child and she's 38. The majority of my girlfriends are waiting until 40-ish to have children or are simply just not interested. It will be interesting to see what happens with the population. Here in the States, one of the biggest arguments for immigration is the fact that the native population is declining.

Alana link

7/19/2014 08:56:17 am

I can echo other commenters about there being "no right time". For me, the right time came perhaps a bit later than I would have liked - my late 30's. For someone I worked with years ago, her time was 15 - the boy told her one of those myths that just aren't true, and she believed him. She was forced to marry him, a subject, perhaps, for another of your blog posts (we've both seen that big change). And, I even worked once with a 40 year old woman who had a 15 year old sister (same parents).

Francene Stanley:
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